Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
