i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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