the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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