he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
