Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
