One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
