Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
