So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize