Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
