She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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