This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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