I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I could make wine with my vomit
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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