fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
