it wasn't lemon gatorade
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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