Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
as a side note pls kill me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
