remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
