She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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