So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
