can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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