sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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