i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
