Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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