I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
