Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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