i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
