im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
