Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
