am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize