I accidentally burped into my bong.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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