If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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