haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Never underestimate the power of titties
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
