sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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