3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
