One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
