Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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