better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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