it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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