is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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