butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
