oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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