Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
