I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
