I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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