I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he thought i was a dude.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
