do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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