I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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