At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dear god my vagina.
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