In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
