I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
