They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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