We won't sleep together?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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