Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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