girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
