I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
