He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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