1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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