that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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