I met the friendliest cop last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
