i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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