am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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