maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
