I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
