We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
