Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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