So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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